小品：“不差钱”（2009 年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目）Got the Money Anyway（舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。）(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山：到了。Yadar Here we are. 毛毛： 到了。Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情（tiáo qíng）。Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调！！毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调（qíng diào）。Uncle Zhao 情调（qíng diào） All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway.赵本山：啊，情调？就搁这儿吃。Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag?赵本山：贵？咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢？Yadar What bag? 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗？！这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗？Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才？才 70 多块钱。Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.赵本山：我还有 400。行，够了。Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter! 赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员！（小沈阳上）(Shenyang, the waiter, enters.) Shenyang Sorry, sir. We're of high class here. We don't take on stuff from street .小沈阳：对不起大爷，我们这是高档酒店，不收农副产品。Uncle Zhao We're your customers. Don't we look like it?赵本山：不是，我们是吃饭的。不像啊？(翻起衣服，露出衣服里面的百元大钞)Shenyang oh yeah yeah yeah ….小沈阳：是的是的。。。。Uncle Zhao this is an important meal here, miss.赵本山：我说姑娘啊，这顿饭非常重要。Shenyang I’m not a miss ,I’m a man ,a real man from the inside out.小沈阳：妈呀，你管谁叫姑娘呢，人家是纯爷们。Shenyang Uncle Zhao Then, how can you wear in a skirt?赵本山：咋这么个打扮，还穿个裙子呢。Shenyang See, it's no skirt but Capri pants .it's men's wear in Scottish style.. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking.小沈阳：这是按我们苏格兰风格来包装的。再说也不是裙子啊，这不七分裤吗。你看，是有腿的哦。妈呀，着急穿跑偏了。妈呀，我说走道咋没有裆呢。Uncle Zhao Leave that trouser for tomorrow, hah! I tell you, boy, we're gonna have a important guest here in a minute. You must do you' best.赵本山：行了，那条腿留明儿个穿，哈哈哈。小伙子我跟你说呀，今天我要请一位重要客人吃饭，你一定要招待好。Shenyang No problem.小沈阳：呃，没问题。Uncle Zhao How much did the most expensive meal cost here? .赵本山：我问问你，你们这个酒店把最贵的都点上得多少钱？Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000....
